Grandma

Grandma is a strong woman. No, she don’t carry weights or lift cars. What I meant was she has a strong character.

Grandma was a young lass during the Japanese occupation in the then Malaya. Being the eighth daughter in a family of 11 children, she spends most of her time hiding in the jungle to avoid the soldiers. Grandma came from a well to do family but they lost most of their wealth during the war. In a time where women are not encouraged to study, grandma took to the books and became an accountant.

Years later her parents arranged her marriage. She was to marry the son of a close family friend. Unknown to their parents, grandma and grandpa have been secretly seeing each other before they were betrothed to each other. It amuses me to know that my grandparents are quite sneaky during their younger years.

It was a life of hardship after marriage. The country was trying to rebuild itself after the war. Then they had to live through the May 13 crisis. At the same time they had to put 4 children to school. Grandma worked hard. She came out to work as a teacher. Then later on work for a plumbing company as an accountant. Out of the 4 children, her eldest son and youngest daughter were the brightest, relatively speaking. Both finished high school but were not able to continue college due to financial reason.

When I moved back to Ipoh to stay with them, I discovered a lot about them. They never spoiled their children except for their grandchildren. Lucky me! For a grandma, she’s quite open minded. Although I know many times she tried to understand us and relate to us but the generation gap is too wide. She effort did not go unnoticed though. She became a grandmother, a mother, a friend and a conspirator. She never tires to share her wisdom with us. She never fails to meet our needs and take care of us. When we needed an extra player at monopoly, she happily obliged. And when we need something from grandpa, she conspired with us to get it.

Others always mistaken grandma for my mother. That’s because grandma married young. Also, she can be quite vain. At the age of 50+, she still dyes her hair black to hide the silver. As the years go by, she can no longer hide her age. Her body also started to fail her.

After an incident where she was admitted to the hospital, she sold off all her jewelery and bought each of her grandchildren a token of her love. Everyone of us got either a gold chain or ring. What was heart-wrenching was her giving it to us individually while explaining that this is her will. It was then that I realised that I will lose her one day.

That one day came. Grandma was admitted to the hospital for heart failure. After several attempts to save her, she fell into a coma and passed on. I was given the chance to speak on behalf of the family in place of my father, who being the eldest son was still on his way back from the US. So much fond memories to share. So much regret of not saying what had to be said.

But I’m thankful for one thing. I got to live with her for 8 years of my life. I’m glad that I know what a great woman and  loving grandma she was.