I used to be a good student. Not in my primary school but when I started secondary school, my studies picked up. My grades were good and I did pretty well for my finals.
There’s really nothing much I want to do during this period of time. My parents are sleeping in separate rooms. I hardly see my dad anymore. Mum seemed distant and depressed all the time. I had to study hard. I wanted to make them proud. I spent most of my time after school pouring over books and doing homeworks. I left notes to my dad on his bedroom door asking for additional allowances to buy revision books which he gave me.
Everyday, after school I made a bee line back to home. Friends would asked me to join them for games and such. But I always decline. As soon as I finish lunch, it’s homework time. Then right after that, I would take a shower and then it’s study time. There’ll be no tv, play, naps or outings. If I did well in my studies, then perhaps my parents will get back together.
My finals came. I studied harder. A month after the finals, the results were out. Mum accompanied me to school to collect my results. My was terrified. Cold sweats were beading on my forehead when it’s my turn to collect it. With trembling hands I reached out to accept it from the teacher. She smiled at me. Mum was beside me. I looked at it. It’s written in red.
I got all As. I looked up at mum. She was beaming at my results. I was overjoyed. I felt like I was skipping on air all the way home. Being a typical mother, she called whole world to announce my results. Ok maybe not the world but all the closest relatives. That night, I left my results on the dinner table for dad to see when he comes back.
Next morning, dad wrote me a note congratulating me and saying he’s proud of me. I was so happy. Now finally, we can be a happy family again. How naive I was.
A week after that, mum attempted suicide. And a week after that, dad ‘officially’ informed my brother and I that they are getting a divorce. A month after that, we were sent to live with our grandparents.
I was doing my secondary four and five in Ipoh. I just couldn’t concentrate anymore. I spend more time staring at the idiot box and my mind wanders a lot. Since then my studies went downhill. From top student, I became the last student. I didn’t care anymore. Nothing I do will change the situation. So why bother.
Why is this happening? What else must I do?
Don’t let go of your studies. you don’t choose your family, it’s something we must all accept. In elementary I always got A’s because I really loved school. In grs. 7 and 8 I got 70’s and 80’s because I was so unhappy becasause we moved. Now I’m in high school. In gr.9 I got 70’s first semester, and 80’s second because i didn’t study very well. Now im in gr. 10. I know im smart and can do this. I can get 90’s and I want to. My point is, don’t throw away your education because of your parents. What their doing is not because of you and even if it doesn’t help your parents, your grades in high school will get you very far in the future. Deep down inside, we all want to be top student, but the truth is not everyone can, so they make excuses. Because you can, do it. We all love and adore smart and studious people. Don’t you?
Comment by sarah — September 26, 2007 @ 7:58 am